HOW GREAT IS TEXAS???
Here is a list of actual places to travel in Texas.
Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042, Pep, Texas 79353, Smiley, Texas 78159, Paradise,
Texas 76073, Rainbow. Texas 76077, Sweet Home, Texas 77987, Comfort,
Texas 78013, Friendship, Texas 76530
Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628; Sunrise, Texas 76661; Sunset, Texas 76270;
Sundown, Texas 79372; Sunray, Texas 79086; Sunny Side, Texas 77423
Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301; Noodle, Texas 79536; Oatmeal, Texas 78605; Turkey,
Texas 79261; Trout, Texas 75789; Sugar Land, Texas 77479; Salty, Texas
76567; Rice, Texas 75155; And top it off with: Sweetwater, Texas 79556
Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all! Atlanta, Texas; Detroit ,
Texas 75436; Colorado City, Texas 79512; Denver City, Texas 79323;
Nevada, Texas 75173; Memphis, Texas 79245; Miami, Texas 79059; Boston,
Texas 75570; Santa Fe, Texas 77517; Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861;
Reno, Texas 75462
Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a plane ticket!
Athens, Texas 75751; Canadian, Texas 79014; China, Texas 77613; Egypt,
Texas 77436; Turkey, Texas 79261; London, Texas 76854; New
London, Texas 75682; Paris, Texas 75460;
No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791
We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031
And a city named after our State! Texas City, Texas 77590
Exhausted?
Energy, Texas 76452
Cold?
Blanket, Texas 76432; Winters, Texas
Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas Goliad, Texas Alamo, Texas Gun Barrel City, Texas
Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670
Men are from Mars, woman are from
Venus, Texas 76084
You guessed it..it's on the state line..
Texline, Texas 79087
For the kids..
Kermit, Texas 79745; Elmo, Texas 75118; Nemo, Texas 76070; Tarzan,
Texas 79783; Winnie, Texas 77665; Sylvester, Texas 79560
Other city names in Texas , to make you smile..... :
Frognot, Texas 75424; Bigfoot, Texas 78005; Hogeye, Texas 75423; Cactus,
Texas 79013; Notrees, Texas 79759; Best, Texas 76932; Veribest,
Texas 76886; Kickapoo, Texas 75763; Dime Box, Texas; Telephone, Texas
75488; Telegraph, Texas 76883; Whiteface, Texas 79379; Twitty, Texas
79079
And last but not least. The Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore, Texas 75662
Have a Good Day!
P.S. Whoops, left out Muleshoe, Cut n Shoot, Hoop And Holler, Ding Dong, and
don't forget...... Farewell , Texas
Things to Ponder
***Something Funny***
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Lone Ranger and Tonto
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a restaurant and sat down at a table. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger went back inside the restaurant.
A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the restaurant and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your
Injun runnin'."
The Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor Was so
pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and It won
again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so
upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S
ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid
of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the
next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid
of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy
Back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND
FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can
bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself
and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a
lot better off.
What Do You Have?
There was a Cowboy that walked into a bar, and asked for ten shots of Whiskey.
He drank the first five shots real fast. The bartender ask him why he did that?
He said I can do that if you have what I have.
Then he drunk the other five just as fast as the first five.
And the bartender told him not to do that.
The cowboy said, you can if you have what I have.
so the Bartender asked him what do you have?
and the Cowboy said.
"Only fifty cents"
By Johnwaterboy
An old Indian was asked what his wife's name was. "Wife Name Three Horse."
"That's an unusual name for your wife - Three Horse - what does it mean?"
"It's old Indian name. Means Nag - Nag - Nag"
MANURE: Another word for S.H.I.T.
Way back in the 16th and 17th centuries, when ships transported everything, guess what fertilizer was on board? Yep! You guessed it! MANURE. Now don't go thinking that they shipped wet, smoking with decomposing gases manure. No way! That would be too heavy, so, it was dried and then packed in bundles. However, sometimes at sea, this cargo would take on water and you know what happens when manure becomes wet. It not only gets heavy but it produces "methane gas" which is caused from fermentation.
Well, you can well imagine what was about to happen especially since the manure was stored below deck. When the deckhands went below with their lanterns (they didn't have light bulbs on ships) KABOOM! Many ships ended up at the bottom of the sea before someone figured out what was happening. What resolved was that the bulky shipments of dried manure were then stamped "Ship High In Transit", which meant that they would be stored high enough below deck so that water could not come in contact with it.
That's how the term S.H.I.T. "Ship High In Transport" was born and it has come down thru the centuries to today.
THE AGE OF A HORSE
"To tell the age of any horse
Inspect the lower jaw of course;
The six front teeth the tale will tell,
And every doubt and fear dispel.
Two middle nippers you behold
Before the colt is two weeks old;
Before eight weeks two more will come
Eight months: the corners cut the gum.
At two the middle "Nippers" drop:
At three the second pair can't stop;
When four years old the third pair goes,
At five a full new set he shows.
The deep black spots will pass from view
At six years from the middle two;
The second pair at seven years;
At eight the spot each corner clears.
From the middle "Nippers" upper jaw
At nine the black spots will withdraw.
The second pair at ten are bright;
Eleven finds the corners light.
As time goes on the horsemen know
The oval teeth three-sided grow;
Then longer get - project before -
Till twenty, when they know no more."
Anon.
Taken from a local 1902 newspaper. Author: Unknown
Quote of the Month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
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